Forced Viewing - Week Two

Week two and I'm already struggling to find and watch bad television, it's not that there isn't enough to watch, because there is just loads out there. It's because I just instinctively blank out when the TV starts producing tripe and before you know it I've managed to zone out and clean the house instead of paying attention. Flip side of this is; my house has never been cleaner.

I did catch my first (and last) ever episode of Supernanny USA. I have no desire to repeat that viewing experience ever again. It's not that the show was bad; to be honest it wasn't, it was OK, but the show is just so shallow and meaningless. American family has problems with their kids because no-one in school teaches "Raising Children 101", Supernanny arrives and is very British as she observes them, then she dishes out some quick fix sugary solutions and in a short while the entire family is all smiles and functioning perfectly. I'm all for a show which teaches people how to raise their kids, goodness knows it's clear that the current generation of adults are completely unable to do it themselves (go go babysitting Telly Vision!) But Supernanny just kind of glosses all over it and leaves you pining for the good old days where the nanny flew with a magic umbrella, sang songs and had an affair with the chimney sweep.

At least it wasn't as bad as Animals Do The Funniest Things, which I caught while waiting for Robin Hood's last ever episode to air. By now you know the score, it's filled with animals acting up or out or just for the camera and it's played for the classic combination of "Awws", "Oooos" and "HAHAHAs" just like every other video clip show involving home cameras pretty much ever. Again like Supernanny it wasn't a bad show, but it was almost instantly forgettable. Just about all I can recall is a swan attacking a man who was swimming and an elephant stealing bananas. I'm not sure if those happened at the same time or not, perhaps it was a swan attacking an elephant stealing bananas from a man, I can't recall. I did catch myself smiling at the TV on occasion, and then immediately berating myself for being sucked in. But that's the thing, it is kind of funny and harmless.

Then there's Robin Hood, which pretty much ended it's run this evening. And honestly it didn't end it too badly, the front half of the episode was seriously cheesy and had more than it's fair share of lame duck moments. Skipping out on the various amusing oddities in the episode it's better to just concentrate on what worked and what didn't.

Poor Richard Armitage, he was pretty much thrown away in this episode. No real big moment for him, just a little banter, some running about, a brief sword fight with Vasey and then he gets double teamed in the following melee. Some hot sheriff/sheriff/Gisbourne stabbing there. But at least he got a dying speech in Robin's lap and it wasn't completely awful. Someone needs to now snap up Richard and put him into a show worthy of his talents. I've got a script for you Richard! Just give me a call, starring role and everything, right up your alley too. It'll be brilliant.

So Guy, Isabella, Vasey and Robin all pushed off and popped their clogs in this episode. That pretty much wraps up the entire show because all you're left with is "super cool" Archer and some not so merry men. They've vowed to carry on as they are "Robin Hood"; like some kind of co-op or passing of the torch. So no Robin sneaking off with his half brother Archer and telling him that there "must be a Robin Hood and now he's it". Which kind of leaves me thinking what was the point in Archer if he wasn't going to be the new torch bearer? Cue the fourth season where the merry men ride around with a stuffed version of Robin pretending he's still alive with clever rope tricks and ventriloquism.

That said Robin's passing was pretty well handled, sure it was a little trite and forced, but the emotional impact was pretty much spot on and bless him Jonas Armstrong didn't make me laugh. It was a good death, bravo.

I can't leave without mentioning Big Brother's latest eviction; I'm now convinced that the voting public don't quite "get" the point of this show after voting out the hilarious Cairon last week and the utterly barmy Angel this week. No British public, No! Bad public, don't make me use the newspaper on you.

The point is not to vote out the strange and weird people, it's to vote out the bland and boring ones so the house ends up an asylum filled with oddities and individuals driving each other nuts. Then we crown the biggest loony of them all the winner and ship them off to a nice padded cell. Crazy people make for good television! Granted Halfwit is pretty nuts in his own way (and must be feeling bullet proof by now to boot) but Angel was so barmy she should have been an automatic "keep in for as long as possible in case she starts eating someone".

Prediction for the winner is either Mr Generic (who's so bland I can't remember his name) or the blond who apparently has the big ha has. I can't tell if she does or doesn't because I'm still unable to distinguish between the two blonds, even when they're side by side. But I heard she's well liked by the housemates so I imagine it'll be a while before she gets voted and then the public will side with the largest cup size. Not that they're predictable or anything (watch me be wrong now).

And finally I'll close with an insight into the madness that is Twitter; after Rob (The Medium is Not Enough), Aaron (Snark and Fury) and myself speculate on the nature of the fouth season of Torchwood. Maybe I'm a little biased but some parts did make me laugh.